


i know we're cool

by seasonie13



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up, Cute, First Kiss, First Time, Gay, Getting Back Together, How Do I Tag, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Making Out, References to Depression, Rough Sex, Slow Burn, Soft Na Jaemin, Sweet, Tears, they are sweet don't touch me i love nomin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2019-11-30
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:02:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21621919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seasonie13/pseuds/seasonie13
Summary: a close look into one relationship, or alternatively, love is a maze of hardships and challenges, that either break it or make it bulletproof.
Relationships: Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Comments: 9
Kudos: 155





	i know we're cool

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SNES](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SNES/gifts).



jeno doesn't know the purpose of his life.  
and most probably he will never know.

he thinks he's average in terms of looks and intellect, typical student at the faculty of law, who loves procrastinating, hanging out with friends and making lame jokes. he doesn't expect too much from his life and never found anything particularly interesting or remarkable about his life.  
he has known jaemin for nine years and has been dating him for four. he's pretty used to their relationship and it feels like they are already married. they moved together when they both entered university two years ago and it went from there as if they were a newly-wed couple moving into an apartment. jeno brought his cats, whom jaemin was all happy to take care of.  
it was amusing how the younger has managed to take care of the household entirely, while studying at university. not that jeno has been fooling around though, because he has had his job as a waiter at a local restaurant. it all has been perfectly okay for most part until today.

jeno woke up in the morning to find a very annoyed jaemin fighting with his hair in front of the mirror, while chapping his dry lips and messily applying eyeliner. the older examines him for a while before mumbling in a croaked morning voice.  
"hey, baby. why are you off?"  
jaemin shifts his eyes to him and takes the older by surprise with cold look.  
"nothing"  
jeno lazily moves towards him and holds his wrist, trying to gain his attention again.  
"why so salty then?"  
jaemin pulls his hand out of the boy's grip and hastily rushes to the door. he turns the doorknob and remarks unamusedly once again.  
"since when do you care?"  
jeno doesn't have chance to answer as the younger leaves quickly, leaving him totally confused. 

jeno remains utterly puzzled thoughout the morning lecture of criminal law. his mind keeps repeating the morning scene, the younger's words repeating in his head on a loop. he decides he will approach his boyfriend right after the lecture during a break.  
jeno doesn't find jaemin in the canteen where they usually meet in between their breaks to have a coffee and a pair of smooches. although he takes notice of the fact that these have actually become a rare event for some reason he doesn't even know. although he spots renjun, jaemin's friend, who hurriedly paces through the corridor.  
"hey, renjun, right? where's jaemin?"  
the said boy doesn't bother to glance at him.  
"already in class, I guess. why?"  
jeno just shakes his head, shrugging it off and the petite boy just leaves, not interested in continuing the conversation at all.

jeno comes home after his shift at work as usual at around 2 a.m. he doesn't expect jaemin to be awake since the boy typically falls asleep much earlier. the younger sits on the sofa, caressing seol's fur, staring at the switched off TV distantly. jeno takes a seat by him and gets surprised to administer that jaemin doesn't spare him any attention.  
"hey, baby-"  
jaemin emits an exasperated huff.  
"please, don't baby me"  
it hurts to hear these words from his lover, so jeno's face turns sulky at the very instant.  
"why are you being so mean?"  
jaemin finally faces him, his hand stopping to rub the cat.  
"mean? really?"  
jeno frowns, registering the arrogant glance in the round eyes opposite to him.  
"then what the fuck is this? for fuck's sake, jaemin.."  
jaemin's face scrunches in disgust, as he eyes the boy from head to toe.  
"am i a "fuck" to you? that's how you feel about me?"  
jeno feels anger boiling in his entire body. he fails to understand the younger's intentions in provoking him.  
"what the hell are you talking about, jaem? are you on your period or your dad joked about gay people again?"  
the boy rolls his eyes and stands up, but jeno is quick to grab his hand and pull him down. he does so a little harshly, which he comprehends as soon as the haughty expression on the younger's face is replaced with furious one.  
"right, i'm a hysterical bitch, who enjoys nagging"  
jaemin used to complain from time to time but it has never been this serious. jeno is shocked and has no idea how to react, he doesn't even know why they are arguing.  
"what makes you be one? then stop"  
what jaemin says next throws him totally off-track.  
"let's break up"  
jeno is so shocked that he stays speechless for some time.  
"what-, are you sane?"  
the younger looks down and twiddles with his fingers.  
"no, i'm not. and i wanna break up with you"  
jeno sits there gaping and jaemin just stands up and leaves him alone in their apartment.

the next morning jeno oversleeps because of insomnia, since he kept thinking about jaemin all night long. no matter how much he thought he couldn't put the blame on himself.  
he props himself on elbows and immediately opens his eyes wide. all of jaemin's belongings has disappeared as the wardrobe is half empty just like the make up table of the younger.  
"did he really leave? so fast?"  
he stares at his cat, that is the only soul left by his side along with the other one.  
"he doesn't love me, bongsik"

jeno goes to the kitchen and realises it's the first time he can't smell delicious food and strong coffee whifting all around. it's is also weird to see the table unoccupied, since he would always witness his boyfriend sipping his dark coffee and eating pancakes made by himself. he feels hollow inside at this realisation and it scares him.  
he also registers that his cats are clawing at carpet irritated by something and it hits him that they must be hungry. he feeds them with milk and remembers how their pots would be full every morning.  
when he gets dressed he thinks it's too silent, since there's no shuffling and tossing the clothes all around. he looks at himself in the mirror and notices how ugly his tie looks and how crumpled his shirt is. jaemin would have ironed it and adjusted his tie without him noticing.

jeno goes to the university canteen hoping to spot a certain pink head inside but he's nowhere to be seen. he recalls how jaemin would smack his head from behind while he would be searching for him. but it doesn't happen today. jeno sits at lectures thinking about the younger all the time. he hopes all day to catch a glimpse of him, but he doesn't even notice a single strand of pink hair anywhere.  
jeno comes home to be greeted by his cats who are hungry and mad, probably because of jaemin's absense. he feeds them and plops on the sofa, diving into the thoughts of the boy again.  
he recalls the times when they were madly in love, which started when they were around sixteen. their first kiss was all sloppy and awkward, since none of them had any of such experience. they were joking around and teasing each other until both of them froze, staring into each other's orbs full of strange excitement and confusion. jaemin leaned in and jeno lost it, crashing their lips, moulding them so blissfully, savoring the taste of the younger's chapstick and bubblegum. it was thrilling to be kissing his best friend, but he admitted they were no longer friends the moment right after their kiss, as jaemin put his palm on his chest and mumbled in a small voice.  
"kiss me again, p-please"

when they graduated from school, both of them waltzed with girls, he danced with onda while jaemin invited ryujin. they kept stealing glances while spinning around the room with their partners. jeno walked out of the room to admire the night sky above on the balcony when he felt warm body pressing against him from behind. he immediately turned around to see the younger's bright smile that outshone the moon at that instant. he instinctively cupped his face and connected their foreheads as their cold noses brushed against each other. jaemin's eyelashes fluttered as he put his hand on the older's, which held his face ever so gently.  
"jeno?"  
"yes, sunshine"  
"are you thinking the same thing i am thinking?"  
jaemin's eyes reflect the moon and stars and jeno thinks maybe they are actually filled with so much light by nature.  
"i guess, i am"  
they kiss slowly, eyes closed and hearts plummeting in their chests.  
"i love you"  
jeno stares into his eyes so intently, not even surprised by the sudden confession by jaemin.  
"i know. i know, my precious angel"  
jeno kisses him again but with much more vigor this time.

when they move into their apartment near their university it's a couple of days before jaemin's birthday. they decorate it with fun, playing along with paint and furniture and throwing stuff at each other.  
"we're never gonna grow up"  
jeno chuckles as he cages the boy against the wall as he shyly nods.  
"we're stuck at that age we met for the first time"  
jeno leans in and whispers against his lips.  
"i remember that day, you were so gorgeous"  
jaemin pouts and pushes him in the chest a little.  
"how about now?"  
jeno pecks his lips and mutters into his mouth.  
"absolutely beautiful"

jeno buys the younger a camera for his 18th birthday which he accepts with much joy, squealing and hugging him. when their friends - yeri, yangyang, donghyuck, mina and mark have left, they are left alone, a little bit tipsy from wine. jaemin keeps giggling about funny incidents of the evening while they were playing different games. jeno hugs him from behind smiling and laughing with him as they lie on their bed. it's when the younger turns his head to him, reaching for his lips with his own asking for a kiss which jeno happily reciprocates. jeno doesn't expect the younger to be so bold, as he emits a little moan and rubs against his clothed crotch. next moment jaemin is already clutching his neck, licking into his mouth and leading the older's palm under his t-shirt. jeno gasps into the kiss as his hands explore the younger's torso, rubbing the hot skin. his hands keep roaming and accidentally come into contact with hard nubs and from the single touch jaemin elicits a soft moan that drives the older crazy. the younger stares at him with hooded eyes, mouth wet, lips red and glossy as he puts his palms back on his own chest.  
"i want one more present, love"  
jeno has a clue about the very present but he is a bit scared, not having any experience as such. but the moment jaemin looks at him lustfully and tugs at his clothed cock, he loses his temper.  
he ends up thrusting his length into the younger's thighs, assuring him that their actual first time needs to happen when they are sober. but it's more than enough for unexperienced jaemin, who trembles furiously, coming untouched from the only contact of jeno's member with his thighs. 

when they have their first time it's an ordinary evening. they lie on their bed, as jeno reads the book of tort law with his glasses on. jaemin lies on his shoulder and carefully examines his face.  
"you look so hot with glasses"  
jeno just smirks and keeps on reading.  
"hm, what else is hot about me?"  
jaemin's index finger trails along his crooked nose and lands on his lips, and the older places a smooch on his fingertip.  
"your big nose. your dark eyes. your abs, your lips, your hair. everything. also i gotta admit you're quite big down there"  
jaemin's naughty hand lands on his crotch and grabs it carefully and jeno's book falls on his chest.  
"i wonder how it will fit in me. can i take it without being torn apart?"  
jeno's breath hitches and his blood pumps to his head creating a burning pressure. his cock in the younger's grip swells up immediately.  
"wanna check it?"  
jeno turns his face to jaemin, staring at him hungrily and breathing noisily.  
he takes his glasses off and attacks the boy's lips, pinning him down. they spent around ten minutes kissing and afterwards jeno takes his time to undress the younger, kiss every inch of his body and accurately prepare him with lube, that he has kept for this day. jaemin's desperate whiny moans fill the room, turning the older on to no end, yet he does his best to restrain himself. when he pushes his manhood into the hot hole, it engulfes him instantly, and he kisses the boy passionately for being so pliant under him.  
jaemin creams his tummy with a loud sob after a few thrusts against his prostate, covering his face from embarrassment right after. but as jeno tugs on his cock, it builds up in less than a minute, which enables the older to continue pushing into the pleasurable heat.  
jaemin clutches his biceps to steady himself before muttering incoherently in between nasal moans.  
"f-faster, f-fuck, fuck me, fuck me faster"  
jeno actually wants nothing more than this very request, finally indulging himself into pleasure and pounding into him at an inhumane speed. he grunts from the upcoming wave of pleasure and jabs the sweet spot of jaemin particularly hard, causing him to roll his eyes and scream, spilling over himself once again.  
jeno groans and follows him, shooting his load into condom. they both keep panting for a while looking into each other's eyes before jeno kisses him passionately, investing the last drops of energy into the gorgeous boy.  
"did i hurt you, baby?"  
jaemin timidly shakes his head, smiling against his lips.  
"not at all. i thought i'm gonna die from pleasure"  
jeno pouts, rubbing the tip of his nose against jaemin's.  
"don't die, sunshine. i won't be rough next time"  
jaemin purses his lips and mutters grumpily.  
"you're being too cheesy. stop it"  
jeno chuckles joyfully, pecking his cheek.  
"i can't help it. happy belated birthday, my precious baby"

jeno often woke up to jaemin taking his photos in the morning. he would immediately cover his face and start whining.  
"nana, stop it. i'm ugly as hell and not photogenic at all"  
jaemin sits on his stomach continuing to snap him with one hand, taking away the boy's hands from his face with the other. jeno pins him down and tickles vigorously, earning squeals from the younger as he tries to untangle himself out of his tight clutch.  
"okay, i surrender. please, jeno-ya"  
jeno points his index finger at his face.  
"delete the pictures"  
jaemin pretends to be making his mind then sticks his tongue at the older.  
"nnnope"  
they continue their fight before falling down onto the hard floor turning into a giggling mess.

"can't believe you're so hairy"  
jeno lifts the younger's chin as he shaves jaemin's face, who coyly smiles at him.  
"well, i'm a man after all, even if you fuck me"  
jeno raises an eyebrow at this explanation.  
"you thought i forgot you are?"  
jaemin just shrugs, examining his now smooth baby skin in the bathroom mirror.  
"i hope you don't love me for only my pretty face"  
jeno frowns, confused by the sudden sentence.  
"why would you think so?"  
jaemin's phone starts ringing as the icon of his mom appears on the screen. he picks up the phone not bothering to answer jeno's question.

jeno wakes up to sleeping jaemin, which is a rare occasion, since the boy gets up earlier and prepares breakfast for them. he observes the sleeping face of the younger, pointing out all the details and how beautiful he looks. rays of sunlight dance on his milky skin, long thick lashes, gracefully curved nose and plump pink lips. jeno thinks he's breathtakingly gorgeous and takes his pictures on the camera. he switches video mode on and starts recording, zooming in and out of the sleeping face.  
"jaemin-ah. you really love listening to 'the 1975'. they have a song named 'i like it when you sleep for you are so beautiful yet so unaware of it'. longass name for a song, isn't it? you are so unfairly wrong to assume i love you for your beauty only though. you are the sweetest, purest and kindest creature to ever step on earth and i will be by your side till you become an old and wrinkled grandpa. i don't hesitate you're still gonna be as gorgeous as you are now. good morning to the light of my life, na jaemin"  
he stops recording, washes up, gets dressed and hurries to his lessons, preparing breakfast for jaemin this time. 

"honey, can't you skip your shift today?"  
jeno scratches his head as he hides in the restaurant closet so that nobody hears him.  
"baby, i can't. we have a whole lot of guests today and they're gonna fire me if i leave"  
there's a huff on the other line and jaemin hangs up. jeno frowns staring at his phone screen.  
"you're so selfish sometimes"  
jeno returns late as usual and lying by the sleeping jaemin pokes his side gently.  
"jaemin-ah, why did you ask me to come early?"  
jaemin just shrugs it off, digging his nails deeper into the pillow.  
"never mind. i wanna sleep"

"do you have time to pick some china for our kitchen with me?"  
jeno raises his head from the book, smiling apologetically.  
"uh, baby, i'd love to but.. i need to prepare for my seminars this week. the exams are near, you know"  
jaemin wipes his hands on the apron he's wearing as he shrugs his shoulders.  
"okay, i get it. but i don't really get it when you play pubg everyday while you have exams. i also have them, you know"  
jeno gapes at him blinking profusely.  
"jaemin-ah, are you serious? i play it for only half an hour a day to distract myself from all the boring terms and theories. it will take the whole day with you strolling around the mall to buy a pair of cups"  
jaemin breathes loudly but smiles, seemingly faking it.  
"my bad. sorry for nagging, hun. imma go myself"  
jaemin doesn't let him reciprocate as he paces out of the kitchen and closes the door of their bedroom with loud thud.

jeno's day goes awfully unlucky. he gets asked exactly about the single topic he never had time to read through at the lesson. while hurrying to work he accidentally knocks a man down, who complains about pains in his foot, making the boy pay a fair amount of money.  
"this city is full of prideless bastards"  
he remarks as he counts the mere amount of cash left in his purse.  
he is also unlucky to break an expensive dish, with an equally expensive meal on it, catching the attention of the manager all the way. he receives a fine and a series of insults from his boss, who claims he's pathetic, stupid and broke idiot who drags the place's reputation down.  
when he gets home he expects jaemin to comfort him but the latter is too busy typing something on his laptop. he finds out that his boyfriend hasn't prepared anything to eat and the refrigerator is totally hollow. he chews on buttered bread with prominent anger in his eyes and drinks cold tea. he comes to the bedroom, wanting to smash something against the wall and although he doesn't feel like sleeping, switched lights and sound of typing get on his nerves.  
"it's 1 a.m, jaemin, i think it's too late to finally start studying"  
the said boy looks at him with confused expression as he switches the lights off without asking for permission. jeno dives under the blanket on his side of the bed, putting his earphones on and trying to listen to calming songs. but something boils in his veins, since the feeling of anger and embarrassment was too much for one day and one jeno.  
he gets up, taking his earphones away and observes jaemin, who keeps typing with the calmest face. a sudden idea pops up in jeno's hooded mind as he closes the laptop with one hand and grabs jaemin's shoulder with the other.  
"what are you-"  
jeno doesn't let him finish attacking his lips like a predator and sucking on his mouth instantly. jaemin whimpers into the kiss as he gets laid down in a second, the older attacking his neck and chest aggressively, leaving a myriad of marks.  
"c-careful, oh-oh god"  
jeno nibbles on his earlobe and hisses.  
"suck me off. now"  
jaemin stares at him patronised by the sudden brutality of his boyfriend but reaches for his pants anyways, exposing the huge length to the air. he looks up to meet darkened eyes of the older and takes it inch by inch, adjusting to the size. but jeno quickly grabs him by neck and pushes down onto his member, earning a choked gasp and gagging from the younger. he thrusts into the hot cavern mercilessly as jaemin tries to take it obediently, blinking away the tears in the corners of his eyes. he then messily spreads him open spitting on his fingers and invades the whimpering boy's body without warning to begin pounding inside jaemin chasing after his own pleasure only. he turns him around and takes a faster pace, hitting the spot in the younger over and over again with hard jabs, causing him to spill over the sheets with painful moans. jeno keeps thrusting in and out turning him into a whimpering mess from overstimulation.  
"i c-can't, jen-"  
jeno finally releases with a low growl, filling jaemin to the brim, as he puts his hand over the sobbing boy's tummy where he can feel his pulsating cock.  
he pulls out and collapses by the younger, who breathes unevenly, burying his face into the pillow. jeno registers that his shoulders are trembling as little muffled sobs are heard from jaemin. it's when the older realises what he's just done.  
"baby, i'm sorry, i'm really sorry-"  
jaemin turns his head away from him as he reaches for his face.  
"i had a bad day, please, i'm so sorry"  
jeno feels like he betrayed the younger, out of all people chosing him to release his anger.  
"i got you. good night"  
jeno places butterfly kisses on his shoulder eyes wandering in guilt.  
"are we ok? will you forgive me?"  
jaemin pulls the blanket higher, curling into it deeper.  
"yes"  
jeno cuddles him from behind nuzzling his nose into the crook of jaemin's neck with a pang of guilt growing in his chest.

jaemin's attitude changes right after this night. not too obviously but jeno is too much into the details of their relationship not to notice a mere shift in the younger's behaviour. for example, jaemin doesn't draw cute pictures on their lattes or chocolate smiles on the surface of pancakes. he stops babytalking to seol and bongsik, calling himself their papa and jeno their daddy. it looks like every single smile decorating his beautiful face is forced and he is sinking into some depressive state.  
they become intimate only once, but it ends up awkwardly, as jeno sees a mild reaction from the younger as his hands and lips roam all over his body.  
jeno can't help admitting that he's become neutral too, overwhelmed with his studies and job to comfort the younger every time he feels lonely. it looks like he lost interest in his life and doesn't know where everything is heading, whether anything makes sense. he only knows that he has his routine, that he's obliged to keep up with and the rest is not important, so he doesn't spare any attention to secondary things. 

jeno returns home from work to reveal he's alone, since jaemin is nowhere to be seen. he immediately dials the younger and when he picks up there's a sound of laughter and clapping over the line.  
"hey baby, where are you?"  
jaemin shushes whoever he's surrounded with and talks in a whiny tone.  
"having a pajama party with my babes, why?"  
jeno knows every state jaemin has been in and this one is clearly the drunk one.  
"jaem, did you- are you drunk?"  
the younger hangs up muttering curtly.  
"see you tomorrow, honey"

jeno notices how the occasion of jaemin staying at his friends' has become so frequent but he doesn't say anything, leaving it up to the younger's own decisions. he thinks that he has no rights to intervene into the boy's life and he needs to do whatever he wants. they grow apart so much that he doesn't see jaemin in the mornings anymore, since the younger chooses to leave as soon as possible in the mornings. until he finally catches the scene after which jaemin decided to break up. 

jeno doesn't know how much time has passed as he sits on the sofa staring blankly at the wall. he looks at the watch and realises he missed his work shift. but he  
couldn't care less at the moment so he heads to the bedroom where he instantly dozes off. 

waking up to an empty space on the bed is something jeno can never get used to. it has been ten days since jaemin left, and he realised how he craves for him. it seems like the house has become haunted without the sounds of jaemin's shuffling and his chiming voice. every single thing about the younger causes jeno's heart clench painfully. he puts his palm on the younger's pillow and the image of sleeping jaemin goes through his mind. he finds the boy's pajama shirt under the pillow, which he seemingly forgot. jeno grips on it and takes a long sniff, plastering it to his nose. it smells too familiar like candies and apples, probably jaemin's body spray, or is it just the younger's natural scent? 

jeno misses him so much that he cannot return to his home at night or after lessons. the thought of not meeting jaemin there makes his insides squeeze awfully but he needs to take care of the cats. like the good dad he is, as jaemin would say. 

it is two weeks since their break-up when jeno meets him. oh boy, was he wrong when he craved to see the younger. no, he wasn't, but he would definitely wouldn't want to run into him in such circumstances. 

it looks like jaemin has a boyfriend now.  
he is no other than hwang hyunjin, who is famous for being the biggest heartthrob of the university. jeno freezes midway while pacing through the corridor as he spots the familiar pink head standing by the window while hyunjin caresses his hair and sides, looking into his eyes lovingly. jeno contemplates whether he should go on walking or just leave. but he needs to go to the lecture, and it is in the hall which is a few metres from the couple. gathering all of his courage, jeno heads straight, trying hard not to turn his eyes by an inch and feel his heart shattering once they make an eye contact. 

he fails. and his heart indeed shatters.

he instinctively turns his head hoping desperately that this pink hair may belong to another boy but it no other but jaemin, who stares at him as the wide grin fades away from his face. jeno frowns and turns his head back, making an arrogant expression. 

jeno loses the last ray of hope that warmed his chest. he comes home and cries his heart out, shaking furiously and grabbing on his hair.  
"i lost you. i lost the love of my life"

it has been a month since their break-up and jeno finally dwelled in the idea of letting jaemin go. he learned to take care of himself, with much challenge, but he managed. although everything around him still reminds him of jaemin, he has grown strong enough to ignore his imagination. or more like he learned to ignore pain.

he doesn't expect anyone to knock on his door early in the morning. but what he would never ever expect is to see that it is jaemin.  
he hasn't changed. apart from the new color of his hair, which is pastel blonde now. jeno's heart treacherously makes a flip at the sight of the shy smile which decorates jaemin's soft features.  
"hey jen"  
jeno gapes at him for a while, hesitating whether he is still sleeping.  
"h-hi"  
"can i come in?"  
jaemin fiddles with the hem of his azure sweatshirt, clearly nervous despite the attempt to flash a confident smile.  
"yeah, sorry, come in"  
jaemin observes the surroundings quickly and his gaze finds jeno again.  
"bold of me to show up like this, isn't it?"  
jeno automatically shakes his head.  
"why? you're always welcome here"  
bongsik and seol run up to him and he leans down to hug them.  
"awee, my baebaes. i missed you so much"  
jeno's heart skips a beat at the sight as he fight the urge to mutter 'what about me? didn't you miss me?'. 

they drink coffee at the kitchen table and it feels a bit awkward for both of them to keep silence. both of them blurt something out, and chuckle nervously afterwards.  
"what's this you wanted to say?"  
jeno shakes his head twiddling with his fingers.  
"no, it's nothing. you speak"  
jaemin smiles with the corners of his lips as he looks at him with sad glint in his eyes.  
"i just, you know i'm thankful that you took care of me all this time"  
jeno raises his eyebrows, confused by the sudden statement.  
"i thought it was you who took care of me.. and the house"  
jaemin chuckles and looks down into his empty cup.  
"no, i mean, you worked and paid for us both. i think i should give the money back"  
jeno's mouth falls open at the said words, as he blinks profusely.  
"wh-what are you saying?"  
jaemin rubs his neck, avoiding meeting his eyes.  
"i like spending money, you know, i have huge appetites, i used to shop a lot and.. and"  
jeno frowns at him and jaemin feels intimidated by his stare.  
"enough"  
jaemin immediately falls silent at the order, playing with the sleeves of his sweatshirt.  
"you really expect me to take money from you? jaemin, i know, you are hysterical and unreasonable for most part but this.. this is too much"  
jaemin can only nod, admitting his fault.  
"are you and hyunjin still a thing?"  
jaemin runs his fingers through his blonde locks catching jeno's eyes. the older tries his best to look neutral and he thinks he somehow succeds.  
"yeah, we're dating"

jeno decides to live a solitaire life in terms of dating and marriage. probably because he thinks he's monoamorous or demisexual, whatever you call it. he constantly think of about jaemin and the idea of having the same feeling for someone else seems ridiculous and incredible to him. 

it has been three months since their break-up and jaemin comes to him again. the moment the door opens and reveals the younger's smiling face jeno's cup full of hot beverage falls down breaking into pieces and burning the boy's hand, who screams from the sudden pain. jaemin rushes to him, grabbing a wet towel and ointment to treat the older's burnt hand. the younger blows on it eyeing the boy's scrunched face worriedly.  
"does it hurt too much? should i call the doctor?"  
jeno shakes his head still unable to believe jaemin is real and he's holding his hand in a tight grip.  
"why are you here?"  
jeno didn't want to sound harsh but he can't help it.  
"i-i broke up with hyunjin"  
jaemin looks small under his scrutinizing gaze as he blurts it out.  
"uh.. why? did he treat you badly?"  
jaemin looks at him with remorse rubbing on jeno's hand with his thumb soothingly.  
"no, we just didn't love each other genuinely"  
jeno just hums as he stares at anything but jaemin, still confused about the latter's intentions.  
"like the two of us. we truly loved each other, didn't we?"  
jeno blinks at him slowly, registering the younger's words.  
"where is this heading, jaemin?"  
jaemin takes his phone out of his pocket and roams through the gallery. he then shows the screen to jeno, whose jaw drops at the view.  
he saws the very video he recorded that day, when jaemin was sleeping. jeno nearly forgot he did.  
"do you know.. why i broke up with you?"  
there's a sob coming from the younger and as jeno shifts his eyes to his face, he realises jaemin is on the verge of crying.  
"because you never told me you loved me. like this. that you wanted to grow old with me. i thought you don't want it to last forever, that you'll drop me the other day"  
jeno opens and closes his mouth multiple times, unable to collect his thoughts into a sentence.  
"i- couldn't say it. i thought it would lose its weight once i let it slip out of my tongue"  
round drops of tear start rolling down jaemin's cheeks as he gently kisses the burnt palm of the older.  
"we were so selfish. especially me"  
jeno cradles the side of his tear blotched face with his palm and lifts it up to look into the sad doe eyes.  
"stupid baby. how could you leave me while loving me? it is so stupid, jaemin"  
jaemin puts his palms over the older's, nuzzling the side of his face into it.  
"because i'm hysterical and unreasonable and you deserve way better"  
jeno knits his eyebrows in pity leaning down until their faces are just an inch apart.  
"i couldn't ask for any better"  
jeno captures his lips, tasting salty tears and caramel latte and jaemin clutches his neck, instantly deepening the kiss.  
"you're so insecure about yourself, nana"  
jeno places a tender kiss on his forehead and covers the whole face with a myriad of slow kisses.  
"so are you"  
jaemin takes his hand and kisses it ever so caringly, gazing into jeno's eyes with all the love in the world as the older reciprocates it just equally.

jeno pants into jaemin's mouth as he slips out of him, causing the younger to whine from the loss.  
"i missed being full"  
jeno chuckles cleaning up the mess they have just created. it's when it hits him like a siren and he cages the boy in between his arms.  
"you and hyunjin, didn't you-"  
jaemin turns red as he covers his face in embarrassment.  
"i can only let you fuck me"  
jeno feels triumphant at these words, peppering kisses behind the younger's ear.  
"why did you see my video only after three months?"  
jeno questions against his lips.  
"because i didn't wanna take photos all that time"  
jeno looks at him confusedly.  
"why?"  
jaemin connects their foreheads and stares deep into his eyes.  
"because i wanted to take only the pictures of you or at least anything which was connected to you"  
jeno is hit by realisation which makes his eyes water instantly.  
"so you tried to forget me like i did but failed?"  
jaemin nods eagerly, pecking the tip of his nose.  
"you never forget the one you truly love"

**Author's Note:**

> uhhhh, give this much love, guys.  
> thanks for reading.


End file.
